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Everyone knows the nice PTO ladies do a ton to make Park Elementary School a better place. But it turns out even the nicest ladies can make huge mistakes. “I don’t know what they were thinking,” said a third grader who asked not to be identified because his mom is on the PTO. “Just silly!” said a kindergartner, who forgot her name.
So what’s all the fuss about? It turns out the nice PTO ladies asked the Park principal, Dr. Shaughnessy, to run against them in a T-Rex race at Saturday’s Cash Bash. When asked what the first thought was that came to mind after he was asked to dress up in a gigantic Tyrannosaurus Rex costume and run around in front of a huge room of people, Dr. Shaughnessy responded: “My moment has come.”
The PTO met behind closed doors to make the decision, so no one really knows what they were thinking. But, after talking with a number of kids who were snooping around during the discussions, it seems like the nice PTO ladies might believe all the cupcakes Dr. Shaughnessy eats will slow him down. The first graders I talked to thought that was pretty ridiculous: “Cupcakes are good!!!”
Dr. Shaughnessy is no stranger to being underestimated. When I met with him, he talked (and talked and talked and talked) about winning a “big” horseshoe tournament during a 4thof July picnic back in 2007. “No one thought I’d win,” he said. “There were like eight teams or something!” Dr. Shaughnessy said that was the seventh greatest moment of his life, and believes Saturday’s race will be in the top three for sure.
Park teachers didn’t have much to say about the race, although Michelle Blasko, who asked not to be identified by name, said the T-Rex costume can’t possibly be any scarier than his Halloween costume a few years ago. Dr. Shaughnessy said he’s not sure what she’s talking about, but asked me to remind anyone who has old pictures of him “dresseduplikeasteelvalleyhighschoolcheerleader”(mumbled incoherently) to please delete them.
Dr. Shaughnessy is worried that his crushing victory will make the nice PTO ladies sad. He said he was going to bring ice packs to give them afterwards, because they always make the kids feel better, but the nurse told him they would probably melt. He’s going to give the ladies he beats a pencil, instead.
It’s going to be a race for the ages on Saturday night, so if you don’t have your ticket, get it quick! Yes, Dr. Shaughnessy is pretty much going to win for sure, but it will still be a good time!